![]() No judging or criticising yourself for having things come out differently than you planned. Talking about sex will feel awkward at first for most, so know you are not alone. We can have sex more easily than we can talk about it.Īnd the price of this is quiet frustration, fumbling, and fear which put a big damper on our level of enjoyment under the covers. It’s healthy.Īnd yet, society, culture and religion have coded into us that it’s shameful to speak about openly – even with those that we are hoping to be intimate with. And move beyond the initial awkwardness, in the name of great sex for all involved. Here are some guidelines on how to have the conversation. What is the best way to bring it up in the first place?Īnd how to deal with the awkwardness of it all? If you want to have good sex – to give pleasure and receive it – you need to communicate both your own wants, needs, and desires to your partner, and to ask them what works for them as well. And help them understand you and your body so they can do the same for you. The more information you have to work with, the better you can support the other person in experiencing pleasure and share in their joy. And what works for one person may not work for another. So even if you’ve been the most incredible lover on the planet in the past, everybody and every ‘body’ is different. If you want to know how your partner likes to be touched and where, where their boundaries are, what works for them and what doesn’t, then you need to ask.Įveryone is different. You might feel like one wrong move will send the whole house of cards tumbling.Īnd so you kind of mosey into sex for the first time under the foggy cloak of suggestiveness and feeling like it’s ‘going to happen’.Īnd in doing so have seriously threatened your chances of having the best sex now and forever with this person.īecause studies have shown that couples that are able to talk openly about sex, are the ones that experience the best sex.īecause let’s just say it like it is, very few people are mind-readers – paranormal powers remain relatively rare amongst us humans today.Īnd whilst communication can happen beyond words, through movement towards or away or encouraging sounds, even if you’re good with non-verbal cues, you may be missing out on more than you might think. ![]() The early days, weeks and months of dating someone new can feel super tenuous. The myth that someone should just be able to ‘feel into you’ and if they can hit all your spots, they must be ‘the right one’ needs to die.Īs does the fear that if you talk about sex in super early stage dating, you’re going to ‘mess it up’.
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